Been contemplating life purpose or how you can make a contribution in the world?
Me too. Specifically, I’ve been contemplating how to find more purpose in life, motherhood and work, the feminine way.
The way that we’ve been imbued to determine our life purpose is through a series of intellectual and rational enquiries into what our skills are, what the gap in the market is or even what our ‘superpowers’ are. Google life purpose and you’ll find a whole lot of men asking you to get clear on your ‘why’ without any reference to the massive fears, insecurities or experiences that may have prevented you from simply figuring this all out a long time ago.
Umm… is it just me or does this all feel a little… constrictive? First of all, after much of the afore mentioned enquiry, I take issue with the notion that our purpose is our career/vocation and that the two should always be linked – lest we be cast into the fires of ‘unknowing’ and banished from a fulfilling life. A feminine leadership approach would argue that all of life can be purposeful – from the way we interact in our relationships, to the kids that we raise or choose not to, to the work that we do, to the art we create, to the very existence that we carve out according to our values. Purpose and creativity are linked – and we can very much be ‘on purpose’ when absorbed in the day to day mundane tasks should we choose to see it this way.
It also feels that the whole discussion around life purpose in the traditional form is a little competitive. As individualist, capitalist societies, we have bought into the notion that finding our purpose will somehow alleviate suffering and also put us ‘above’ others who have no yet found theirs. Suffering is just part of life. End of. Anyone who ‘finds’ or arrives at their purpose and lives a happy ever after is either a sociopath, or someone who has developed amazing emotional denial abilities as a form of coping. We are evolutionary beings – the feminine leadership lens would allow us to see the whole – the light and the dark, the suffering and the joy, the winter and the summer, and to make sense of our purpose according to what particular cycle we are in and what intuitively feels ready to be birthed into the world. Purpose in this form is connective, and intimate – rather than competitive and isolating.
Lastly, I believe that the current paradigm of life purpose can actually be enormously disempowering. It feels fucking overwhelming to have no idea where to start to ‘find’ this elusive thing, and might just be the surest fire way to waste 45 hours on instagram scrolling in an attempt to bed it down. A feminine approach would bring us back to our bodies – in the process healing any beliefs or wounds about our worth – and help reconnect us with our innate wisdom, desires and pleasures (which is the fuel of both creativity and purpose). The womanly body/mind is a powerful organism which when harnessed, can bring about monumental shifts internally, externally and in society. To live with purpose, I believe, is to be anchored to this power knowing that we can shift and evolve according to our feelings, instincts and deeply refined intuition – no mean feat when we have been shamed and removed from this very sacred part of us for so many generations. A feminine approach would preach that we just try and follow what feels best at any one time, knowing that the whole quest for purpose is, in itself, the purpose. Knowing that this beautiful, messy, crazy ride that is life – including with all the pain and suffering and joy and ecstasy – is guiding us exactly to the where we should be.
And that is, that it is guiding us back to being ourselves. Yes, I believe that our purpose – above anything else – is to be ourselves. It is is simple and as crazily convoluted as that.
On the eve of my returning to Bali to run my Emergence retreat, I find myself in deep reverence for the incredibly winding path that my quest for purpose has led me down. I find myself, finally, shedding the belief that I need to be doing ‘more’ to help end violence against women. I find myself acknowledging all that I am doing – in the way I’m showing up for myself, my loved ones and my clients – the very best I can. I find myself understanding that the next few weeks will help me to move unapologetically forward with my work in this space – and acknowledge that this work is definitely not for everyone. You can read a little more about what that means below.
In the meantime, after I return from Bali, I’m running a five week online women’s circle for women looking to explore purpose and career and learn more about some of the feminine leadership qualities above. Woman on Purpose is a sacred space where we’ll transform the masculine myths of purpose using a more feminine, transformative approach which will leave us feeling energized, inspired and connected rather than hiding in shame around not doing enough or not having found our purpose. You’ll experience first hand how feminine leadership will have you feeling more productive, inspired, on purpose, creative and EFFECTIVE (especially if you are an agent of social change) than you could have ever dreamed of. It kicks off August 28 and places are strictly limited – if you’re ready to show up for yourself in this way and explore these questions without the punishment, let’s do this thing! All the details here.
So back to the part where I’m burning down my house and birthing the next evolution of my work. I would really love to offer you this opportunity, at this crossroads, for us to lovingly part ways? If you haven’t felt resonance with these messages, or haven’t felt called to learn more, then I so honour wherever you are at on this journey and humbly invite you to unsubscribe from my mailing list or unfollow my Facebook/instagram pages. I’ll be removing those who haven’t opened one of the last five emails from my list as soon as I’m back, to create energetic space in my business and life for me to evolve and reclaim more of who I am, so I can help you do the same. Thanks for being part of the journey – and I know you will find exactly the right wisdom to take you to YOUR next best step, whatever that may be.
I would also love to hear from you what you YEARN to hear more of? What offerings would you love to see that would help you? What resonates? If your answer to the above is that you unequivocally would love to stay on this list, then please feel free to reach out and share…. your voice helps me to find mine. Shoot me an email here.
I’ll also be shutting down my Facebook page and creating a new, more private instagram account for this work around Vital Womanhood and also offering one-one weekend retreats at my property – details to come soon!
In the meantime, sending you much purpose and love – and seeing you in your WHOLENESS this week – just as you are.
PS – Don’t forget that in October, I’m teaming up with some amazing women’s experts to run an in person day retreat for pregnant mamas. The Nourished Mama is the retreat we all wished we had of attended before birth (instead of spending all that time researching prams) – a holistic, non-judgemental space for connection, education, movement and grazing in Victoria’s spa country. To book your place or buy your pregnant friend (even if it’s her second or third babe) a ticket, head here. Early bird tickets available til September.
Empowering women to rise, heal + connect