Today’s episode is the first of a series of podcast episodes focusing on self love and self compassion. More specifically, how can we love ourselves more?
If you read any kind of wellness or wellbeing advice these days, it’s laden with people telling us to ‘be more kind to ourselves’ and ‘treat ourselves with compassion’. Which is great, if you know how.
I wanted to share my story today in the hope that I could collect and disseminate the lessons that I’ve learned on my own self love journey. More specifically, I share the five lessons that have helped me begin to like myself after many years of treating myself pretty poorly.
Listen the podcast now
The five lessons that I share are:
First, have a relationship with the parts of you you don’t like. Disintegrating yourself into different parts, parts that you love, parts that you hate, parts that are embarrassing etc. will only leave you feeling exactly that… in parts. There is something beautiful about being a whole. Accepting all that you are, the good, the bad and the ugly. Start to talk to your shadow side. Accept her benevolent intent. Soothe yourself when you’re upset and tell yourself it’s OK to be anxious.
Second, remember it’s a lifelong journey. Every layer that is peeled away, every moment of awareness, unveils the next layer and the next steps to be worked on. Self compassion is THE journey. It’s the most important thing we can ever learn. If everyone on the planet liked themselves, I do believe that lots of society’s ills would be absent. We can’t help others until we learn to love yourselves. That’s the honest truth.
Third, there are tools that can help. Mindfulness and meditation, yoga, breath techniques, self care and self soothing practices as well as doing things that light YOU up will help you along the way. Working with me through my coaching program is a great place to start to learn and work with tools that will work for you as an individual.
Fourth, if you can’t be compassionate toward yourself, practice with other people. Compassion as an emotion has a very high vibrational frequency. Learning to understand what compassion feels like in the body, will attract more compassion back into your life, including for yourself. Visualise someone you love and feel the compassion coursing through your body. Do this again and again until you are able to also visualise yourself with the same compassion
Fifth, change your language. Carefully choose the words that you use to describe yourself both externally and internally. Your thoughts and words have a physiological impact on your body and they also attract like thoughts and words. If you are calling yourself ugly, ugly things will happen. Changing your language to be more compassionate is the simplest and most effective way of beginning to change the way you see yourself. Repeating affirmations like ‘I approve of myself’ can also start to reprogram your subconscious in a positive way.
Want to download the episode? Do it here: Episode 005 On Self Love
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